Today, my boyfriend stopped at my job to give me a rose before he went away for the weekend. It was small, and sweet, and of course all of the girls at work thought it was adorable. But it’s kind of more than that. I feel like in relationships, especially with social media, we all get stuck on the materialistic things, and HEY!, there is nothing wrong with giving and receiving gifts, but I feel like we get fixated on it. We compare our relationships with the seemingly “perfect” couples on social media with the #relationshipsgoals. But what about that simple, single rose? What does it mean?
It’s funny when I look back sometimes on previous relationships. Guys who bought me anything I wanted. Guys who never bought me anything. Guys who paid too much attention. Guys who didn’t pay enough attention. And I tried to love each one of them, but it took me a long time to understand you can do all the right things , love the “right” way, and still be loving the wrong person. It is completely possible to love the wrong person, right. So what is so different about my relationships then, to my relationship now? Communication. Yes, I know, that’s what everyone says, right? Number one advice for relationships is always better communication, but what does that even mean? For us, it means being honest about our feelings, and why we may have reacted to something a certain way.
I’m a hard person to love, and I don’t say that in a cute, trying to give my boyfriend a nod, kind of way. I mean I am seriously a hard person to love. I’m stubborn and impossible to reason with with I’m angry. I’m temperamental, and sometimes unemotional, and I want everything done my way. I get jealous and self conscious and I can be a huge jerk just because. All of these things have been true in every relationship I’ve been in, only in the past I would have been too proud to admit to most of them. Only now, we tell each other when we are feeling self conscious, or jealous, or temperamental. That’s not to say we don’t fight. We fight plenty. We just discuss WHY we fought. How I was feeling, how he was feeling.
Honestly, I wrote this post for him. My boyfriend is a great man. For so long I settled for whatever I got in relationships that I forgot I held real value. I won’t lie, it was weird at first, being with someone who I can religiously count on for anything, anytime, anywhere. Seriously. I’ve called him while I’m at work because I spilled maple syrup all over myself and I needed him to bring me clean clothes. He has driven over at 11pm because my earring was stuck, and I was in tears unable to fix it. He has dropped everything at 10pm to help me put together a toy storage unit, or stayed up with me until 4am putting together a Power Wheels princess carriage. He’s dropped off medicine when I’m sick, taken hours upon HOURS out of his day to fix my car when it breaks down, and watched the movie Coraline on repeat for 7 days because that’s what my child wanted.
My point is, don’t settle. It’s worth waiting for someone who loves you on days you don’t even love yourself. Don’t be impressed by large diamonds and flamboyant gifts plastered all over your timeline. Wait. Wait for someone who knows what night is garbage night at your house. Wait for someone who washes the dishes after you finish cooking. Wait for someone who doesn’t complain when you want to go to Target for the 80th time in one week, and drops by with a single rose to brighten your day. ❤